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| photo by Secom Bahia |
- by Mike Fontana, writing from Bowling Green, KY
Ronaldinho, Rooney, Kuyt, and Messi. What do these players have in common? They’re all ugly and they’re all very talented at the football of today. I have a theory about ugly football players, the uglier you are the better you will perform on the pitch. Everyone is aware of the great Brazilian Ronaldinho who had a very successful time at Barcelona, Wayne Rooney who has enjoyed many goals and trophies with Manchester United, Dirk Kuyt who has just enjoyed playing at Liverpool and not winning anything, and Messi who is without doubt one of if not the best player in the world. This article isn’t just about those four players though look at Van Der Sar, the keeper for Manchester United, he could easily pass as an Elf on Lord of the Rings. Franc Ribery looks like he eats three square meals of buttered gravel every day. Carlos Tevez could be and probably has been mistaken for El Chupacabra. As ugly as those players are my personal favorite is Rene Higuita who looks like Ron Jeremy and Lionel Richey had a kid.
I have a theory about all the ugly successful footballers in the world and I think I’m pretty spot on with it as well. If you look at Lionel Messi he is not exactly the best looking of men, but he has obtained 50 goals this season and 47 last season which makes me think that the uglier the footballer the more focused on the game they are. Wayne Rooney, very ugly man, but continues to have success. Seeing as they are more focused on football rather than looking pretty they play better. The opposite example of this is Fernandita Torres, excuse me, Fernando Torres. I often mistaken him for a woman. Getting back on track, he is a fairly good looking guy and works to maintain his style and looks which in turn takes focus off the football pitch and is probably why he hasn’t scored a goal since Moses talked to the burning bush. I think Ashley Cole is the best example of this, I once heard him be asked “Who do you think the best looking player is on your team?” he replied “Me obviously.” Maybe if he wasn’t busy buying gold plated Cadillacs and trying to be pretty all the time Chelsea would be more in the race for the title and not 11 points out of first place. Don’t get me wrong whatever Chelsea are doing I hope they keep it up because so far it’s working for everyone else.
Maybe if some players wouldn’t concentrate on how they looks off the pitch and sometimes even on the pitch they would be able to focus more on their playing and being able to perform at such a high level. Until then football will be dominated by the Ronaldinho’s and the Rooney’s of the world.
Follow Mike on Twitter @Redevil92
